The other night, on a whim, Speedy and I went out at midnight for some food tripping. You can read about our Banchetto adventure at the food blog.
Driving home, Speedy remarked that it was the third night in a row that he drove out at midnight and returned two hours or so later. See, on Sunday he drove Alex to the condo. On Monday, it was Sam. On Tuesday, we went out. Always leaving the house around midnight to escape the horrible city traffic.
And Speedy wondered what the security guard at the subdivision’s gate must think. He might think we were a family of vampires, Speedy said, going out at midnight to feed on some hapless victims then coming home when we were full. I should mention at this point that we had just seen Let Me In which, by the way, is a great movie with none of the cheesy and trying-hard but still pretentious sexual undertones of the Twilight saga which I really hate. Sorry, Twilight fans, but I really find it hard to find Robert Pattinson sexy and Kristin Stewart irresistible. They are just so emotionless.
Anyway… so in the aftermath of seeing Let Me In, vampires were apparently very much on Speedy’s mind. And he had an idea. Why not smother our lips and chins and clothes with red stuff, open our windows when we passed the guard house and see how the security guard would react?
Wicked. And I felt a huge adrenalin rush.
I said, “Let’s not go home first. Let’s go straight to McDonald’s, pick up sachets of ketchup and smother the ketchup all over our faces and clothes, then drive home and past the guard house.”
We started snickering. Then, another thought…
I asked, “Does the guard have a gun?”
“Of course, he does.”
I was suddenly doubtful. “O-oh, might not be a good idea to scare him then.”
I had this picture in my mind of the guard scared out of his wits at the sight of two “vampires” obviously living in the subdivision, pulling out a gun, and…
“Nah, really not a good idea to scare him. He might shoot us.”
Never mind that the guard has no silver bullets — we’re no vampires anyway. And I certainly don’t want to die from a gunshot wound and under those circumstances.
So we didn’t pull the vampire stunt. But it really seemed like a good idea at the time.