Mommy Talks

Father-daughter conversation

A few years ago, I posted an entry about how my husband got upset when he heard me discussing sex and rape with our daughter Sam, then 12, while watching an episode of C.S.I.

Last year, when we watched Memoirs of a Geisha and he heard me discussing the virginity-for-sale part with Sam, he said nothing although, when Sam left the room, he told me how uncomfortable it made him feel. He made no big deal when I told him months later that Sam decided to read the book except to say that he was impressed at Sam’s initiative.

He’s not alone in his discomfort. Last year, I had lunch with two of my editors, both male, and they exhibited pretty much the same attitude — they cringed at the thought of discussing sex with their daughters.

Last night, as I was surfing, the bedroom door was open and I could hear parts of the conversation between Speedy and our younger daughter, Alex, who will turn 13 tomorrow. I could hear “69” and “position”. Before I could give eavesdropping my full attention, the conversation was over with Alex laughing and saying, “Yuck!”

I asked Speedy what that was all about and he said Alex had been hearing the term “69” in school when classmates exchanged jokes. I told him I was very proud of him for answering Alex’s questions. He started hitting his chest, right where the heart is, and he said, “Ang sakit! Ang sakit!” LOL

First of all, I am amused that Alex decided to ask her father. Second, but more significantly, I am so pleased that Speedy did not send her to me to do the explaining. I think it has finally dawned on him that it is much better to discuss these things openly with the kids rather than have a situation where the girls would consciously refrain from mentioning in our presence any subject connected with sex.

Everyone grows up. Even fathers. :)

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