I was browsing HEdCen.Com and found an announcement about a workshop for yayas (nannies). One of the topics is choosing appropriate (media) shows. I’m still trying to find out if the workshop is open to the public or if it’s exclusive to yayas of HEdCen students.
I had to smile when I read about the yaya workshop. Way to go, HEdCen! As far as I’m concerned, this issue about TV shows, yayas and how they affect kids is no trivial matter. See, I had a very, very bad experience with a househelper over TV shows when Sam and Alex were younger.
I’m one of those mothers who never let yayas raise my kids because I didn’t want the yayas setting their standards at home, most especially about what TV shows to watch. We had no live-in helper until we moved to the suburb in 2001 and, by that time, I had resumed my career after an eight-year hiatus. The kids didn’t need a yaya at that point — they were 9 and 8 years old by then — but they were too young to be left alone without some semblance of adult supervision. The situation was still such that the househelper was the only adult until Speedy and I got home from work. I had very strict instructions about what TV shows were allowed. No teleseryes. No F4. No noontime variety shows (I worked on Saturdays too so the noontime variety show rule was relevant).
It sounds snooty but it’s more than not wanting my kids exposed to all the crap on TV especially at that age. I knew — I KNEW — that if there were no rules about the TV, the househelper would have the TV on at all hours even after the kids arrived from school and should be doing their homework. I knew, of course, that while the kids were at school, the househelper would have her fill of afternoon teleseryes. As long as the work was done, I didn’t mind. What I did mind was having the househelper decide which program should be on in my kids’ presence. That’s why I specifically banned TV shows that househelpers are so fond of watching. If the TV had to be on, the programs had to be the kids’ choices (cartoons, mostly, at the time).
See, I knew about the dangers of letting househelpers believe that they are in total control especially during the absence of Speedy and myself. We needed someone to provide some semblance of adult supervision over the kids in our absence but that was not a mandate to be bossy. I never even allowed my kids to call any househelper “Ate” to do away with any possibility that the kids would feel that the househelpers exercised some kind of psychological ascendancy over them. I encouraged friendly relations but I have always been clear that the househelper was not a surrogate head of the household when Speedy and I were at work. The househelpers did not set rules; they implemented ours.
Now, the second househelper we had after moving to Antipolo (this was in 2002) had an attitude. Within an hour of getting hired, she was bragging about her cooking until it turned out the only dish she could cook was fried chicken and she almost always overcooked the chicken to the point that the meat was dry. That’s how “good” she was at cooking. This househelper thought she could skirt my TV rules by making the girls connive with her. She was so sneaky she made them promise not to tell me. Too bad for her, Alex spilled the beans.
But it was a scary incident — what if my kids had been much younger at the time and something like that happened and they were unable to tell me?
Well, none of that has been a problem since 2003 when I decided that the best arrangement was for me to work at home.
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We had this yaya who tied me and my kid brother up with a rope by the fridge (my brother was two, I was six) because we were running around the house, playing (“malikot”).
It was only years later when my Mom learned about this.
But it was good that we siblings had control over the TV programs we wanted to watch — “Sesame Street” and “Electric Company.”
I can buy a domain yayatales.com and tell a lot of “yaya” stories there. LOL.
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It’s good you can now work from home, Connie. That’s the best arrangement.
The yaya workshop is a great idea. If I’m not mistaken, Maricel Laxa spearheaded a “yaya” training program like that before. I’m just not sure now if she and her organization are still doing things like this until now.
Ah, another too true tale. Too bad for the nannies in our household, my kids dictated WHAT they should be watching. In turn they also dictated to the nannies what THEY should be watching; National Geographic, Discovery Channel, Cartoon Network, Nickolodeon, HBO, Cinemax or Hallmark Channel.
Although there was a time we hired a nanny who used my son’s face for a broom when my son broke one of those porcelain stools we got as a wedding present. I almost clobbered her until prudence dictated I just sue her to kingdom come. My kids have learned better since.
I can see where you’re coming from. We have had our fair share of “yayas from hell” but the one’s we have now I consider “A-listers”. Magaling sumunod sa mga patakaran. Eto ka, nag-aaaral pang mag-ingles para lang sa mga bata. Not that I told them to. Gusto lang nila para sa mga bata. I think what’s important aside from knowing how to stick by “our rules”, dapat mahal din nila ang mga alaga nila. Without that, kahit gaano pa sila kagaling..talo tayo
Jayred, Speedy has a cousin who was difficult to feed when she was young. She would throw up and the yaya would make her eat that. A neighbor saw and told the mom. The girl was only about 2 at the time.
Re yaya workshop. Oh yes, I think it’s such a great idea. Yayas should be aware that there is so much opportunity to learn (even from TV) if only they will set aside their “favorites.”
The Mentat, shucks, was your son hurt badly?
I know someone who has one yaya for each kid. The yayas were carrying a kid each and they fought (the yayas, not the kids). One yaya tried to smack the other but since she had a kid in her arms, the kid got hit instead.
Swerte mo, Kongkong. Maganda yan may initiative for self-improvement. Wag sana makaisip mag-abroad pag magaling na mag-Ingles.
Connie… nah. Just a bruised cheek which disappeared after 1.5 weeks. But that taught me a lot about trusting the help.
I spent half of 2001 all the way to 2005 raising them without any yayas. That was a heck of a time for me. Totally relaxing, no steady job, but with 100% time with the kids.
I agree with you Connie. I think however, that certain expectations and rules must be set out before hand anyway. I know that I just wouldnt trust anyone to look after my own children (not that I have any.. but hopefully soon) Nannies are definitely a luxury here where I am. Usually, both parents work and kids are either dropped off at daycare or montessorri or you hire your own personal nanny (which can become really really expensive, not cheap like the Philippines). By the way, don’t they make TV’s now a days that you can lock? I know that my TV at home has a and all you have to do is hide the remote or take it with you wherever you go..LOL! (I am sure my TV will come in handy when I have kids!)
P.S. I really love reading your blog, it definitely helps me remember where I came from
Eventhough, I wasn’t old enough to remember!
Speaking of yayas from hell, my mom still tells me the story about how she had to fire my yaya in the Philippines because she took five-year-old me to the mall with her for a rendezvous with her boyfriend. She left me at the toy store while the two of them went to the food court to eat (Who does that?!) The yaya got the scare of her life when she couldn’t find me and she had to claim me from mall security. I guess she felt guilty about it so she ended up confessing to my mom. Needless to say, my mom was PO’d and she was immediately let go.
I also distinctly remember her entertaining her boyfriend at our house when she thought I was napping. Tsk. tsk.
Your kid was lucky, The Mentat. The one I mentioned, the two nannies who fought, the little boy that got hit had a blackeye. Sinapak nung nanay yung yaya sabay pinalayas.
Hi Cindy, you mean lock out certain channels? Oooh, we never checked. The only lock out I know is to remove the PIN card itself from the scrambler (it’s a satellite TV service) which means no TV at all. And the kids will complain LOL.
Allison, naku, the boyfriend is another issue. We have strict instructions. No strangers in the house — not even the helper’s relatives — unless we’re home. Then, this same helper started “seeing” a tricycle driver. One time we arrived home to find the tricycle driver — half naked — in front of the gate. Pucha! In the nick of time.
Hmmm… I will have to agree with you Cindy, there are some mid to high end TV sets that have those channel lock features but as to how it can be useful for Connie, I can’t say for sure unless I have more info about their setup. But from what I could gather, it won’t be of much help.
There’s another way to monitor your house, Connie, Nokia sells a remote camera you can install in your house. Just plug in a SIM card and send a text message to the camera so it will send you a pic via MMS. It can, I think, also send you a pic at a constant rate if you so choose.
The yaya who gave the kid a blackeye… I think I would have given her a good clobbering and a week or 2 in jail before letting her go. Then again, that’s just me.
The Mentat, re cam. Ah now that is what my hubby wants. Even today. The househelper does nothing but watch TV when we’re out. One time, it rained hard and the bed got soaked because… you guessed it.
re the clobbering. You and me both hehehehe
Get the cam and review it. Including the price. I am so dying to know if it works as advertised.
Yold you it was my hubby’s idea. Am not buying. hahaha
Actually, the TV itself locks. I bought a cheap TV 4 years ago at Walmart, I think the brand name was “Durabrand” and it has a lock function. The TV would be on and there is a control on the remote that locks it, so when you turn it on all you see is a blue screen and an image of a “lock”. With my digital service now, you can also lock out channels from your remote control with a 4 digit numerical password. It is tres cool! Have a great weekend!
We have 2 TV sets and one is quite new. But… no such function. Or I haven’t discovered it..?!?
Hi Sir, i’m chika bugtas senior broadcast communication at UPd. i saw the link to your blog at yugatech. i’m doing a study about philippine podcasting. if you have time po, may i ask you to answer the ff questions po, kahit in bullet points lang po. you can email the answers at chikasci_bugtas@yahoo.com.ph
thank you so much for you time. god bless!
Name: (PODCAST LISTENER)
Age:
Degree:
Occupation:
Website:
1. Who introduced you to podcasting? How did you discover podcasting?
2. What are your favorite podcasts? Why? (Describe these podcasts)
3. What are your least favorite podcasts? Why? (Describe these podcasts)
4. How often do you listen to or download podcast sites?
5. How are you able to access podcasts?
6. Are you planning to put up your own podcast site? Why yes? Why not?
7. In what ways do you think can podcasting benefit the Filipino society?
8. Are there negative effects of podcasting to Filipinos? If yes, what are those?
9. Are you aware of any issues being thrown at podcasting? What are those? (Ex. Podcasting will kill radio broadcasting)
10. What’s your personal assessment on the status of podcasting in the Philippines?
11. Do you think podcasting will click in the Philippines? Why?
Hi Connie. My cousin once had a yaya who kicked me when I refused to let her transfer TV channel. I was just about 8 years old then. I didn’t tell anybody first, seeked my own revenge…shredded her favorite dress, the one I know she’s reserving for her week-end date. When she told my Aunt, I retaliated by showing the spot where she kicked me…. scheming, eh?
I think what Cindy meant to say was a child lock. It’s a device mechanism designed to prevent toddlers from playing with the TV set to avoid injury (parent’s annoyance, too probably). You program the tv to child lock mode and the only way you can use it will be with the remote control. But I think you won’t be able to switch it on or off either without the remote. Plus, if you misplaced the remote, it’s another one huge issue.
chikasci, sorry, I don’t listen to podcasts.
Good for you, Ria. hahahaha Served her right. Re TV, I’m looking for our TV’s manuals. LOL Serves us right for not reading manuals. hehehe
Sir Connie? biro lang. Tama yata si Cindy, I think you could program your tv to lock any channel, I deleted all Mexican channel on mine.
You can actually program the remote to only go through the channels that are “registered”. But there’s a way-around to that (by pressing the number of the channel directly). But not all people (yaya’s and children alike) are smart enough to do that though.
Yaya from hell story:
When I was younger we had a yaya who use to beat my older brother and sister, they never told my parent because she would always threaten them. Until one day my older cousin caught her in the act and told my dad and the next day she was gone.
i don’t have any yaya horror story to tell (not yet, knock on wood) but i have a friend who had to quit her job because her 4-yr old daughter developed anxiety problems. My friend found out that the yaya often locked her daughter in dark places (bathrooms with the light out, storage spaces, etc.) when she went home earlier than usual one day and the yaya just broke down and confessed after my friend threatened to sue her.
anyway, my friend noticed her daughter had periods of unexplained anxiety and depression at (4 years of age!) shortly after all these happened. after consultations with a child psychologist, she was advised to quit her job and be with her daughter, “bantayan daw” for a year. they also spent quite a sum of money for the therapy sessions. my friend is back to work and her daughter seems to be fine now (except for occasional bouts of unexplained & uncontrolled sobbing) but says she’ll never forgive that yaya for the lifelong trauma she has imprinted on her daughter.
LOL @ Ray. Muntik ko na nga i-delete yung comment eh hehehehe Imagine, SIR daw ang beauty ko??? hehehe joke joke
Jon, pag-aaralan ko yan.
Jack, I know a brother and sister who got treated like that. And the mother’s a stay-at-home mom. Couldn’t imagine why she missed all of it. Or maybe she was too afraid to go maid-less.
glenville, gosh, that yaya should have gone to prison. it’s really hard when the child is too young to tell on the yaya. And if there is fear, the problem becomes even bigger.
my boss has triplets and basically this summer we have nannies that are teachers. so their days are full of activities. no one allowed to hit the kids and they watch disney channel pati ako 2nd hand nanny minsan but am very close to them , i discipline them in a very good day.
this story is interesting. will forward this to my sis who just had a baby
Wow! Nice new look!
sha, naku, i’ll post a separate entry as a response to your comment — i just remembered something!
Hi Mitch. I got into Blogherads.com kasi so I need a friendlier layout for the new ads. hehehehe
Hi! In case you want to contact HEd Cen, here’s the number: 658-3489. It’s a great school!
Claire
Hi Connie. Tagal ko nang nagbabasa nitong blog mo, and ang dami kong natutunan, Thanks for sharin! May tanong po ako, Sorry if am out of topic here pero related sa HedCen po. I just wanted to know what made you decide to enroll your kids to HedCen?
Shiela, many things. The curriculum, the philosophy, the proximity… But, to be honest, if I were to make the decision today, I’m not so sure I’d make the same choice. A lot has changed in HEdCen.
Thanks Connie. We are relocating to Antipolo and am looking for a school for my daughter. And its too difficult to decide … hay … may naririnig ka po ba kung ano maganda? Paref Rosehill, is it any good? Baka may mga friends ka na don nagaaral ang kids. Ang kulit ko na … Salamat po ulit!
I have one friend whose daughter attends Rosehill. She seems happy with the school but, personally, I can’t make any assessment. You might want to try MISA (Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo) and there’s Assumption also. I’d still suggest that you visit HEdCen so you can check it out. Still best to visit all then compare before deciding.