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The shy child and the cactus

Sam was a shy child. A very shy child. She was chatty enough with people she felt comfortable with but around strangers, she was the Ice Queen until she was ready to thaw. It was something I discussed with the administrator of the pre-school she attended a long time ago. Teacher Gladys, her name was, and she had a bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Psychology and Elementary Education respectively. She was writing her dissertation for her PhD at the time.

During one of those discussions, I mentioned to Teacher Gladys that Speedy was a shy child too. It was a casual comment which I started to dismiss almost as soon as it came out of my mouth. I said, “Of course, that’s a nurture issue and it’s not like it’s something that Sam could have inherited from her father.” Not a gene thing, you know?

Her answer surprised me. “Oh, you never know,” she said. “There are cases which tend to show otherwise.” It was something I would ponder upon for years and years to come. There had been other things — behavior of the girls that I couldn’t understand where could have come from only to find out later that Speedy behaved similarly in the past.

Cactus plant

I was reminded of it again when we were in Greenhills a couple of days ago and bought two cactus plants for Sam. She had been pining for cactus plants for a long time. A long time. She had no place for them in the old house but she has a lot of space for them now.

I don’t like cactus plants. I don’t see their beauty, I don’t see their value as ornaments. They’re interesting as plant specimens, sure, for all their ability to live and thrive with very little water. But, beyond that, my interest in them is zero. Speedy, on the other hand, had a large collection of cactus plants when he was younger.

Likes, dislikes and behavior are not physical attributes that a person inherits through the parents’ genes. But since a person is said to be a product of both his nature and nurture environments, where does the similarity in likes, dislikes and behavior fit in? Do genes pass on more than physical traits? What a mystery man is.

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Comments

  1. Gay says:

    I remember in the Jurassic Park novel, it’s like behavior is not encoded in the genes but rather passed on by nurturing. That’s how Crighton explained about the behavior of the dinosaurs they recreated in the island. They were already adult dinosaurs hence they don’t have the expected characteristics of the dinosaurs (hunting for food, shelter, etc…). It’s like they don’t have social skills because these are no parents to teach them.

  2. Asianmommy says:

    I think it’s true that personality can be determined by genes. A shy person can’t be taught to be the life of the party, even if raised by outgoing parents.

  3. Interesting area of study, don’t you think? I’ve been looking for info online but I might be using the wrong keywords.

  4. Kongkong622 says:

    How about “manang-mana ka sa Tatay mo”..joke :D

    I’m always getting that from both my Mom and Mom-in-law about my kids. My eldest is supposed to be exactly like I was when I was a kid. In truth, I actually see the huge similarities.

  5. cocoy says:

    connie, is teacher gladys a martinez? is this the school in caloocan?

    just curious

  6. Miguk says:

    Nature versus nurture are forever debated about which one is paramount in development. I tend to favor nurture because the environment a child is raised in has a great effect. That being said, how two kids who grew up in the same household with all environmental factors the same could perform at polar opposites in school like my kids is a question waiting to be answered.

  7. Kongkong, re “manang-mana ka sa Tatay mo”. Ayaw ni Sam yun hahahaha

    Cocoy, yes, Stella’s former partner, right? School is CCWB.

    Miguk, except for physical features, I lean towards nurture too. And ask myself the same question: how can my two daughters be so different from each other?

  8. badboylamok says:

    There’s a book I’ve read that touches on the nature vs nurture topic. The Blank Slate by Steven Pinker. I highly recommend this. I think it is available in Powerbooks. I think a major portion of your personality/traits are influenced by genetics. This corroborates with evolution by natural selection. Natural selection is dependent on the survival of “good” genes. So if behavior and traits are not inherited, evolution won’t take off.

  9. badboylamok says:

    Btw, I was quite surprised when you said that shyness was more of a nurture issue. I’ve always thought that its inherited as my mom and dad always used to say. I guess you should add more to your science to your reading.

  10. badboylamok, So, what YOUR mom and dad believe settles the issue? LOL For someone pretending to be scientific that’s a hell of a statement. Even evolution is a debate, boy.

    “I guess you should add more to your science to your reading”

    Actually, I’d rather not. Science these days being sponsored by businesses for profit.

    I suggest you add more logic to your life though. Not every “scientific” datum is as accurate nor as objective as its corporate sponsors make it out.

  11. Gay says:

    Hey Connie, not all science is sponsored by business or profit ha :)

  12. BlogusVox says:

    I’m beginning to believed traits are inherited. My 3yr old is doing things I subconciously do like finger tapping and observing without being conspicuous. She’s also organized (she lines-up her toys according to height)and loves symmetry. Mabuti nalang she got her “looks” from her mother.

  13. Karmi says:

    Hello,
    I wasn’t interested in cactus plants before and then I came here, to Atacama desert. You see cactus plants against a backdrop of nothing but sand and rocks and the bluest sky and you’ll change your mind I’m sure. They’re beautiful against all that blue sky.

    About this nurture or nature issue- it’s one of the main reasons I’m fascinated by the idea of having my own child someday.

    Oh, I got to your blog through Ms Gloria’s Journey blog. I’d like to check more of your posts.

    Chao! and good day to you…

  14. auee says:

    Auee shouting at the thought of Kelvin inheriting hub’s genes: “nooohhhhh!”

    I know it’s inevitable but there are a lot I hope/wish he won’t imbibe.

  15. I always love quoting Kahlil Gibran’s passage about Children and Parents from the Prophet when I hear topics like this one.

  16. Miguk says:

    Environment has a profound effect that cannot be discounted.

  17. JMonreal says:

    I believed that the development of a child is related to how well they were nurtured during their early years. I see it happened to a lot of our friends and relatives.
    If I have to choose between genetics and nurture, I prefer nurture. I know my wife and I can properly raised a newborn child. We did it on our own with our three kids. It’s a matter of commitment on the part of the parents.

  18. Gay, agree. Problem is how do we tell between what is and what isn’t? The ones that relate to food, I don’t believe anymore. Not after the research I did on artificial sweeteners.

    BlogusVox, wow, she’s got the best of both worlds. hehehe

    Karmi, the thought of photographing what you described is tempting. Someday…

    Auee, hahahaha but I bet there are parts of his genes worth inheriting.

    Ex-art student, the one about your children not being your children?

    Undeniably, Miguk. I was going to cite an anecdote but you just gave me a topic for tomorrow’s column hehehe

  19. badboylamok says:

    Whatever Connie. You and your huge ego.

  20. badboylamok says:

    I never said IT settled the issue. Read again.

    Evolution is a debate? What a laugh. You should read more.

  21. Wow, my ego? Like I’m the one insisting that I am right, eh?

    Take your own advice and read more. That oughta make you less cocky. If you’re capable of understanding what you read, of course.

  22. Miguk says:

    Oh yeah? Do I get royalties (at least a finder’s fee) hahaha.
    What paper do you write for again?

  23. Yup. That one. :)

  24. Manila Standard Today, Miguk. But a very controversial topic came up — copyright infringement. Recipes from a magazine. Tied it up with AP demanded payment from bloggers for quotes hehehe

    Ex-art student, yeah, too bad that a lot of parents treat children as mere extensions of themselves.

  25. Tom says:

    IISA PA LAMANG…I guess, I am being inspired by the current movie shown on TV, you know, the one where the beautiful Claudine Barretto tearfully copes with the twists and turns of life’s deceptions. Anyway, I found myself humming the song while driving around town the other day that I decided to find out what the lyrics of the song was. The plan, I thought was setting the Bose player on repeat track so I could write down the lyrics while listening to the song sang repeatedly. After a couple of repeats, the BOSS remarks, “single ba iyan?” Which I responded to what seemed to me a sarcasm with a, “hindi, sira lang ang player na iyan, it just sings the song I’d like to listen to”. Sometimes, you Pinays are a pain in the ass. Well, having written down the lyrics, how sad to think if it was solely meant for YOU- DESCENDANTS OF EVE.

  26. I had to Google for the lyrics to understand the context of your comment, Tom. And… my goodness, it’s not the kind of song I’d sing — even inside my head. Melodramatic martyrdom. Urgh!

  27. Tom says:

    Could we for once have confidence in ourselves and in our country because the kahapons na pinababayaang lumilipas ay di maaaring balikan.

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