Comments on: The less than perfect child http://casaveneracion.com/the-less-than-perfect-child/ The Sassy Lawyer & Pinoy Cook on food, family and home. Sun, 27 May 2012 04:04:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Lisa http://casaveneracion.com/the-less-than-perfect-child/comment-page-1/#comment-27777 Lisa Sun, 10 Aug 2008 17:14:46 +0000 http://houseonahill.net/?p=4162#comment-27777 I think that the fear of having a Down Syndrome child is something most older mothers worry about. I am 43 and have a baby. I elected to have the nuchal translucency test so I could stop worrying. It was great to see that following the test my statistical risk was down in the range of a twenty-something mom. I think that admitting a fear of having a less-than-perfect child make you an honest person, not a bad person. I also believe that the parents that do have a Down child are telling the truth when they say it was a blessing. I just doubt that it was a blessing that they wished for... I think that the fear of having a Down Syndrome child is something most older mothers worry about. I am 43 and have a baby. I elected to have the nuchal translucency test so I could stop worrying. It was great to see that following the test my statistical risk was down in the range of a twenty-something mom.

I think that admitting a fear of having a less-than-perfect child make you an honest person, not a bad person. I also believe that the parents that do have a Down child are telling the truth when they say it was a blessing. I just doubt that it was a blessing that they wished for…

]]> By: shane_onegoodie http://casaveneracion.com/the-less-than-perfect-child/comment-page-1/#comment-27752 shane_onegoodie Sat, 09 Aug 2008 01:17:22 +0000 http://houseonahill.net/?p=4162#comment-27752 I too read the story yesterday and was glued to the screen. I really have not been able to get my mind off of it. What struck me the most was the love, compassion and patience that the adoptive parents have for Dani. There are so many pieces to the story, but for me, that's what struck me the most. It made we want to be a better person. It made me feel very grateful for the health of my children. Thanks for your thoughts...you gave me a different point of view to think about regarding the birth mother. I too read the story yesterday and was glued to the screen. I really have not been able to get my mind off of it. What struck me the most was the love, compassion and patience that the adoptive parents have for Dani. There are so many pieces to the story, but for me, that’s what struck me the most. It made we want to be a better person. It made me feel very grateful for the health of my children. Thanks for your thoughts…you gave me a different point of view to think about regarding the birth mother.

]]> By: Connie Veneracion http://casaveneracion.com/the-less-than-perfect-child/comment-page-1/#comment-27749 Connie Veneracion Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:09:23 +0000 http://houseonahill.net/?p=4162#comment-27749 andrea, normal kids already require so much time and attention, can't imagine how much more attention and care special kids need. gabriel's eyes, if you love him "more" for what he's not, isn't that a form of discrimination? I'd understand loving him just as he is. I'm not dissing you, and I don't mean to offend. But that quote you cited made my hackles rise... I get this feeling sometimes that with people who believe in God, having a special kid is like some kind of trial that must be overcome. And when the parents endure, it's as though it's some kind of martyred sacrifice. But a child is a child, whatever he is and despite what he is. To glorify having a special child as though it elevates the status of his parents as martyrs is, well... The fact that a child is special does not make his parents special or more. They are just competent in the context of the special child's needs. They are just different from the rest of us. The truth is, parents of special kids don't have a choice. They have to endure or risk being labeled by society as bad parents. It's no different from parents of delinquents and habitual offenders. But they don't claim special status. They're just trying the best they can as parents. It's like having a diabetic child, for instance. Is a mother who cooks for a diabetic child better than one who cooks for kids without special dietary needs? Of course not. She just has a different competency, that's all. People who choose to care for special kids when they DON'T HAVE TO, like the couple who adopted Dani, like Julie above who chose to help these kids, they should be the ones who ought to be called special because they do MORE than what society normally expects from them. andrea, normal kids already require so much time and attention, can’t imagine how much more attention and care special kids need.

gabriel’s eyes, if you love him “more” for what he’s not, isn’t that a form of discrimination? I’d understand loving him just as he is. I’m not dissing you, and I don’t mean to offend. But that quote you cited made my hackles rise… I get this feeling sometimes that with people who believe in God, having a special kid is like some kind of trial that must be overcome. And when the parents endure, it’s as though it’s some kind of martyred sacrifice. But a child is a child, whatever he is and despite what he is. To glorify having a special child as though it elevates the status of his parents as martyrs is, well… The fact that a child is special does not make his parents special or more. They are just competent in the context of the special child’s needs. They are just different from the rest of us.

The truth is, parents of special kids don’t have a choice. They have to endure or risk being labeled by society as bad parents. It’s no different from parents of delinquents and habitual offenders. But they don’t claim special status. They’re just trying the best they can as parents.

It’s like having a diabetic child, for instance. Is a mother who cooks for a diabetic child better than one who cooks for kids without special dietary needs? Of course not. She just has a different competency, that’s all.

People who choose to care for special kids when they DON’T HAVE TO, like the couple who adopted Dani, like Julie above who chose to help these kids, they should be the ones who ought to be called special because they do MORE than what society normally expects from them.

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