On the evening of December 23, we drove my mother to her house in Caloocan and, on the way back, along Elliptical Road in Quezon City, an Isuzu DMAX swerved sharply from the lane on our right to the lane on our left. My husband hit the brakes and instinctively honked his horn, acts which apparently bruised the macho ego of the DMAX driver. As we passed him, he already had the passenger window down and he was cockily looking at us and showing us that he had a hand gun.
Twenty years ago, if I were driving the car, I would have swerved and cut right in front of him. If I weren’t the driver, I would have egged on the driver to do just that and engage the arrogant other driver in a road war. But it isn’t twenty years ago. The DMAX driver wasn’t worth the time and the energy (anger requires energy). I got the license plate number – ZBR 871 – but I’m not even interested in finding out the name of the owner. For now, at least. If the driver needed to pull out a gun to show he’s macho, the gun must surely be a substitute for non-existent balls. Too pathetic for attention but a very interesting point to explore.
See, growing up, there’s one thing I have learned about Filipino males. And please note that I use the term “males” instead of “men.” Real men are secure about their masculinity and don’t need guns nor big cars nor arrogance to assert it. It is the males with tiny balls – literally or figuratively, take your pick – who find this psychological need to play the role of a cock about to attack his opponent in a sabong confrontation at every opportunity and whatever the circumstances. What they lack in real worth, they try to make up for with arrogance hoping that people would take the arrogance as a sign of manliness instead of what it truly is – a pathetic attempt to cover up their insecurities.
And I’m not just talking about pompous drivers. I’m also talking about womanizers, hard drinkers, the neighborhood toughies, the fraternity and street gang war freaks, the wife beaters and the rapists. It would be so easy and convenient to simply label them as evil deviants but that would be too simplistic. That would be ignoring the root of their actions. They are victims, really. Victims of a culture that expects men to be strong and virile and always be full of that take-charge attitude – expectations that often become too overbearing, overwhelming and totally misunderstood that they lead instead to acts of senseless violence and grief.
No, I am not defending these assholes… err, victims. Hell, I’d be the last person to defend them. But it is in my nature to try to understand before I condemn. So I look instead at our culture and view this ego-centric male attitude from that perspective. And what do I see? I see a culture where virility is largely defined by conquests. For instance, it took humans a long time to figure it out, and some haven’t still, but most of us are already aware that rape has nothing to do with sexual urges. Rather, it has everything to do with show of power through physical subjugation. The sex is incidental.
This need to conquer to boost the image of a strong red-blooded male is the reason why adultery is still more common among males than females. Unless you’re still living in the Dark Ages, you should know by now that sexual lust is not an exclusively male thing. If you think that womanizing is but the natural reaction to the even more natural sexual urges of the male – something that does not exist in the female – heck, you need a reality check. Womanizing is about conquests. It is a show of power, a parade of acquisition, an assertion of potence. And it is for these very screwed reasons that, ironically, society tolerates male adultery. As though it were natural. As though it were expected.
But womanizing is also a defense mechanism. When the male is threatened by the rising power of his partner, he tries to get back at her by treating females – as a class – as still subject to his whims, will and power. The male who feels emasculated by his partner’s professional success and independence – intellectual, emotional and financial – will seek comfort in the arms who a woman who, he feels, is dependent on him. His bloated ego prevents him from realizing that his mistress is controlling him too and milking him off his money.
Social drinking is fine – but what about males who drink to get drunk? And we see this everyday. Almost as soon as the sun rises, they are fixtures in front of sari-sari stores with their bottles of beer or gin. There are beer houses (oh, okay, the affluent prefer that they be called bars) where drunken brawls are all too common. And the so-called GROs in these places cater to another male need – women who will do as the male pleases (males are often too dumb to know that GROs gulp down water-diluted drinks that the customer pays for). So, what are drinking and beer houses (all right – bars!) for? Another reaction to emasculation? How utterly pathetic.
My younger daughter observes that, except for her father, by and large, males are idiots. On the other hand, my friends Lisa Araneta and Ida La’O, both successful professionals and both products of the U.P. College of Law, never believed in the feminist movement that called for equal rights. According to them, females have always been superior so it’s only the insecure females who fight for equal rights with males.
In more ways than I care to admit, I think they’re right. Though it’s a situation that the males can still change – if they are willing to grow up.
Hi Connie,
It is easy to read a “male-bashing” article if it is written by a woman, painful but still easy, but if an article like yours was written by a man… tang ama! Bugbugan na with all the guns out and firing while cussing a Webster’s worth of profanity.
By the way the English term for “a lalake na nang- bababae” (pardon moi, I’m Ilonggo) is “womanizer.” Sa case ng babae na nang lalalake …”manizer ?”
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.. shift muna ako sa Pinoycook for my daily droolfest.
Lee
I would say na OA naman to show a gun just for swerving na siya pa ang may kasalanan, but very common talaga sa news ang mga shooting incidents dahil sa traffic altercations. Good thing na defensive driver si Sir Speedy and you both have enough sense not to engage the insecure prick!
LOL, i agree that we are superiors so we need not fight for equality
Another showcase of that ego-the shooting incident involving a Justice’s nephew.Another one would be our SOB neighbor who uses drinking as an excuse to howl.
The other day, I was so happy to find out that yes, my husband is now a liberal and a feminist. hehe.
Love the quotes:
“If the driver needed to pull out a gun to show he’s macho, the gun must surely be a substitute for non-existent balls.”
And please note that I use the term “males” instead of “men.” Real men are secure about their masculinity and don’t need guns nor big cars nor arrogance to assert it.
I 100% agree with what you wrote here – only you can articulate something like this so well, the twist in the gut kind of way. If I were that handgun toting guy, not only I would be wincing in pain and humiliation right now but boiling mad as well. His smugness and satisfaction erased lol
I remember my family hosted a dinner for a very special lady at our house, and halfway through the meal, gun totting drivers became the subject.
Lady guest relates an incident on her way to the province when a car at their back was blowing it’s horns repeatedly kasi they were driving slow daw? In other words it cut them along the way, and they have to pull over the side of NLEX with the fuming driver alighting from his vehicle, gun in hand.
The lady’s driver explained that they running at the right speed and are in the right way. But fuming driver would not take any explanation handy and decided to speak to his “boss”
Fuming driver approached the vehicle and lady guest rolled the windows down to the horror of the guy who turned pale white at the sight of the passenger who no less was President Cory Aquino, our guest.
No words needed to quell that guys thirst for senseless altercation. It took a lady president to shut him up, but this will never apply to everyone. Remember the shooting incident at the Manila Memorial park three years ago? (tama ba?) when this guy fired senseless at this helpless lady and pregnant at that? all because of parking space?
I am starting to believe what your friends subscribe to that “women are always superior” I mean look around the metro and you will see a lot of insecure guys driving fancy cars, using top of the line mobile phones and all the works, and the gall to intimidate people with guns, thinking that all these are extensions of their manhood! and that no one can belittle them, not even women with balls.
Here’s wishing that machismo ends where sincerity and courtesy beings in the hearts of men and women.
Wasn’t the Rolito Go case borne out of traffic altercation as well? And it led to bloody murder.
We discussed this issue, social pressure on males to be competitive to the point of self-destruction and to society’s bane, in biological anthropology class and from the viewpoint of evolution, it’s necessary so that the male would drive the survival of the species.
It would’ve have been acceptable but only at face-value, for this notion has forgotten about how complex human behavior and society is.
Was your teacher a male?
Yes he was. The type that would make Mayon’s recent eruptions look boring once you swerve past him on the road.
I don’t know. I think we’re all just animals under the guise of civilian trappings. Oh ang dark ko no?
“All men are idiots” and I’ve written before that we can probably live without them. :b
As far as the feminist movement, it’s true in a way. But I think women needed a label that they could rally behind, collectively, because unfortunately, too many did (do?) think and believe that men are superior to them.
It’s easy for a woman who was raised in an empowered environment to think themselves superior; it’s a different story altogether for someone raised to believe in all the nonsense of being mahinhin, and good in the kitchen, and pretty…blah blah. They need the feminist movement to rally them to value themselves.
Just between you and me, and no offense to the wonderful men out there, including Speedy and Woody, but sometimes I really hate men.
As an aside, I wish you would watch Battlestar Galactica. I would love to read your write-ups on it. It’s a Sci-Fi Drama, very well-written, critically lauded series. Themes are explored like religion, and what makes us human, and are we really worth anything as a species? Do you like Sci-Fi btw? This one is alien-lite.
The show came to mind because I was gonna write that I think one of the biggest male chauvinistic text out there is the bible (don’t know enough about the Quoran and other religious texts) and is one of the reason why I have no use for religion. Sorry, this is so long.
I need to email or FB you about Mad Men soon, another great, great show.
Oh, yes, I love sci-fi though I cringe at the really ridiculous ones. I saw Battlestar Galactica, the movie (I had a crush on Dirk Benedict hehehe) a long time ago. I wasn’t aware there was a series. And I don’t think it is aired in the Philippines.
Your comment reminds me that I don’t do TV/movie reviews anymore and I should. TV/movies are the best mass propaganda (something Hitler understood very well) and we need to understand them more than at mere face value.
I know I’ve noticed that! I was actually gonna comment on it. For me, I went from watching hardly any TV to watching lots now, though online or DVDs only., I hate commercials with a passion.
Yes, there is a series of Battlestar Galactica, 4 seasons long; aired beginning 2004. It’s very enjoyable and thought-provoking.
If broadband here were of real broadband speeds, I’d enjoy streaming. But as it is… hay, gotta look for DVDs.
Sass you don’t need to buy dvds that will only be unplayable and obsolete before you know it. but there’s a better purpose for doing that if you’re building a movie library, I’ll plunk down the 60 pesos for a title worth having in the collection (or those inexpensive multi-disc sets available everywhere, i picked up the 3-disc Godfather – the Coppola Restoration for P360.) ‘rip’ the files from the discs, put the discs away or pass them on to someone else who’ll enjoy it, re-encode the movie files into a more playable mp4 or mkv video format, and store them on an external drive where you can keep your entire collection so you can just cue each title up anytime you want to view them. It’s the ‘media center’ setup and concept you should consider.
what is it with the isuzu dmax? i handled a case a while ago that involved a driver of that model in a vehicular mishap. hmmmm
This is funny.
I am sure the DMAX guy will meet his road rage toughie someday the likes of Jason Ivler and they can have their balls blown up altogether. Puro siga!
Emasculation must have suffocated Tiger Woods from disciplinarian dad up to intelligent and strong willed Swedish model wife Elin Nordegren. He could only played his trash (sending genitals images, church backlot makeout, etc) with Las Vegas bimbos.
Same story, the same message.
Guys, you will have to pay for it one way or another.
Actually, I am of the belief that there is no justice in this world and most men of the kind that pulls guns on people go on to live long lives characterised by routine machissmo.
Stories that such people will “have their day” or will someday “meet their match” are embellished stories that are statistically unlikely and are just meant to give ordinary folk false assurance that justice will be dealt one way or another by some unseen power. That’s kind of the seductive pitch that undepins most religions. It appeals to people who have a sense of helplessness in the face of superior earthly force.
The key to standing up to such “injustices” does not lie in religion or religious-like beliefs. It lies in concrete insurance (in the broader sense), whether it be financial or security measures, and ideally within the legal framework. That bozo’s gun is his idea of “insurance”. It simply means others around him need to come up with their own.
In most advanced countries, the society and state provide relatively sufficient social insurance (security). Perhaps in the Third World there is less reliance on the State and more on private measures/insurance to assure one’s safety and security.
“Stories that such people will “have their day” or will someday “meet their match” are embellished stories that are statistically unlikely…”
This is where you got wrong. If you really apply “stastistics” not just as word, the occurrence based on habit is greater than one. This means the reoccurence is high and will likely meet a different result with similarly aggressive behavior.
“most men of the kind that pulls guns on people go on to live long lives characterised by routine machissmo”.
Your are reading literally hentai comics. Reality check, you should start talking with older folks around 80 yrs old plus, and start asking them if they can characterize themselves as predominantly aggressive character to support your fantasy.
” It appeals to people who have a sense of helplessness in the face of superior earthly force.”
Excuse me, there is no superior earthly force as long as the law is followed to the teeth. Take the case of the celebrity OJ Simpson. His superiority complex evaporated when brandishing a gun earned him the elusive jail time which was long overdue.
What about Philippine setting? The Ampatuans is probably the best example. Not just superior earthly force but they felt like Gods. Until their aggressive behavior materialize in gruesome murders. Keep watching how their fate will end so you can learn.
Not really sure what else to say, as you have said it all and I agree completely with your assessment. There is a distinct difference between men and boys, real men work hard to diffuse potentially threatening situations, boys work hard to make things worse.
Thanks Connie
Mike
Last time I’ve watched this “Bitag” program (he he he, one of my favorite TV show) where a car wash owner brandished a gun to a taxi driver customer. When being highlighted in that TV show, he is nowhere to be found to hear his side. Nakipagareglo agad sa taxi driver para huwag ng humaba ang istorya. May baril daw pero walang yagbol kapag naka-higlight.
Womanizing – I would say that my definition of of it is totally different from yours. Something like a 180 one. Most of the time, I can say that this is with both parties directly or indirectly consenting. I’m a married man, but sometimes, I’m always imagining this scenario that I can entice an intelligent and a rich woman to go with me. Has it happen?
Hard Drinkers – Maybe we can compare this to an earthquake. You would not know or can predict the intensity of it. One has to wait for it to happen. I mean, nobody can predict its intensity or even its occurrence, only its supposed magnitude
I would like to see data that suddenly a person who got drunk by himself alone went berserk and make trouble. Perhaps, what is available is a group of persons who got drunk and make troubles.
Males are idiot – For me, you may call any name you want to call the males. Parang usapang sa tabi-tabi.
Time immemorial, male consider male are superior than female. Even science can prove it.
But then, there is a new thing – PC – political correctness.
As a male, I would beg to differ. Men and women are equal and truth be told, without a female there would be no males. The truth shall set you free.
You mean beautiful and rich woman, more like a trophy. Not the smart ones as they put up the impenetrable wall as soon as they can smell dogs with a hanging tongue.
But why would you go for an intelligent one who already figured out it is not worth all the risks, and plus she can kill virtually any sense of illusion of male superiority?
I really mean intelligent and reach woman (being beautiful is subjective). It is just among my everyday “what ifs” but not exactly my fantasy And if that became a reality, it will be not for the show of an illusion of male supremacy or the trophy thing. (Atin-atin lang ito, I can assure you, it will be for other reason different from those two things).
Why a rich and intelligent woman?
So that there will be no excuses for the woman of being forced to go with it due to economic reason or her ignorance.
I can name a lot of intelligent and rich women who have an affair with married men.
We heard it in socialite circles but actually the shocking thing is to find one among acquintances. I think part of dynamic is that women are getting assertive and liberated than ever before due to ones economic power and decision making experience. The other part is that occupying a certain high position comes with a lot of pressures too can led to sexual tensions. The indiscretion though is targeted being safe and assumed not to change the status quo. For a guy it is a validation but for a woman it is purely feeling of excitement and fullfilment that they cannot have otherwise.
Trosp, you will know when you are getting there because the woman will throw you more information that unmistakably can hurt your wife.
But it is something you should think seriously about which is your priority, your marriage or yourself. It is too naive to think that you can always assert control. Even a wife’s premonition can change something, how much more her discovery.
On the other hand, it really sucks to lose one childhood woman friend who is smart and in the top 10% taxpayer bracket.
D0d0ng,
As you’ve commented:
“Trosp, you will know when you are getting there because the woman will throw you more information that unmistakably hurt your wife.
But it is something you should think seriously about which is your priority, your marriage or yourself. It is too naive to think that you can always assert control. Even a wife’s premonition can change something, how much more her discovery.”
There you are again. Is it just again your supposition?
What if I’m an “abused” husband? Of course you don’t know if it is true or not. You just conveniently exclude it in factoring your supposition. Will it change your feeling-good supposition if it is true?
Trosp, I am sure it is not worth the trouble to entice another woman to getback on wife’s shortcomings. Maybe end the relationship first and go forward from there, a clean break rather than straddling in between.
Just an opinion.
Correction to my post -
“…male consider male are superior than female.”
should read
“male are considered superior than female. Even science can prove it.”
I guess all men considered themselves superior until they found themselves cold one night. hehe
In fact, the 1st chapter in the bible has to address that issue with Adam and soon his superiority became history.
Then show us the research and studies asserting the claim.
Ate Connie,
I have read your blog for years and that is all I do….read! Never have I wanted to comment until today. And now I have read something,and I hope that I do not get slammed for this (and if I do…oh well). However, I had a relationship with a filipino man that was abusive for years…and he acted just like you described in your article. All talk, lots of threats and a “show off’ but really did not have the “shutzpah” to do anything and a lot of machismo he could not back up. Sometimes, I wonder if smaller men and I mean (most smaller men not just the filipino variety) really have what they call a “napoleon complex” where they feel acting big and bad will make up for their lack of “stature” so to speak. I’ve had a rough time simply because I married a 6 foot some white American man, but who treats me so nice and one of the most masculine men I have ever met! Shoot, he is a police officer…he hunts, he fishes, handy around the house, LOVES TO COOK and very secure in his masculinity. Yes, his stature can be intimidating but he is a teddy bear at heart and only becomes a grizzly bear when necessary. In his line of work, he has no choice. I’ve had friend say that he is a “man’s” man…He treats me like a queen whereas that dingbat old boyfriend of mine never did! But because he is white some of my filipino counterparts here in the US thought that I should have married my filipino boyfried even if he was abusive AND that I had sold out because I married out of my race. I was “told” I could have changed him!!! HOW DUMB IS THAT LOGIC???? A zebra can never erase their stripes and I feel that way about the historical culture of filipino men. Unless they grow up in a household where women are respected, they are treated like kings of the world!!! God forbid if they are the oldest, the youngest or the only child then “nagiging malaki talaga ang ulo”!!! I feel bad about your road rage experience. I talked to my husband and he said that had that happened here in the US, he would have lost his right to own a gun because brandishing one in public in a threatening nature is considered a felony. Thanks for reading my “harumph” regarding my experience!
They told you it was your fault? I swear some people were born with no brains and no will to find one.
thank you…thank you…thank you!!! (with lots of bows….)
Re: I wonder if smaller men and I mean (most smaller men not just the filipino variety) really have what they call a “napoleon complex” where they feel acting big and bad will make up for their lack of “stature” so to speak.
I think there is something to that. In fact, it’s an observation I have made with at least a dozen short males I know personally, a couple of them lawyers. Ah, the posturing makes me want to puke.
Still part of culture, I guess, where height is associated with strength. Look at how the oldies still insist that it is simply wrong for a woman to marry a man who is shorter than she is. Like being short is an abnormality.
omg….based on what you just said…HOLY….I understand now that since I have been small however one considers that to to be is based on what one knows. Ate Connie, I was raised by women…strong ones at that…REALLY STRONG WOMEN!! THEY COULD MAKE THE MEN OF THE PHILLIPINES RUN WITH THEIR BLOOD RUNNING COLD. AND GEEZ…NO COINCIDENCE!! at this point I am holding my breath because I have so much to say and express…it is rediculous~ just know this ,,,thank you for giving me such a forum that I am contemplating my own blog! Who knows what I will decide on but you have inspired me. I told my husband how much I want so badly to be on the new Gordon Ramsay SHOW but with my obligation to a school system I HAVE dedicated myself to…heck…I just can not do it.! I signed myself to a dotted line that I can not break unless I do something really bad (which will not happen…I come from a long line of TEACHERs!!!! who do everything right no matter what the cost) or they do SOMETHING HEINOUS.. and they won’t do it…And MY LOVE beautiful husband that he is is of a VERY TALL VARIETY and does not care the stature of a person as long as they act like they have some SENSE………LOL…ONE can be strong as I want to be but what the hell when you have responsibilities…know what I mean? God bless you and your family,….may all and everything you have asked for forever BE YOURS!
If that man you’re marrying is genuinely kind, loving, devoted, and will treat you as an equal partner in life I don’t see any problem either.
Now if the woman just has a thing/fetish for midgets, this could be most…interesting
Well said. I congratulate you on finding such a good man, and you have my sympathies regarding your first “ex.”
It’s amazing how pinoys can become so blinded by their xenophobia to the abuses that they inflict to their own kin.
for most here and it applies equally to the men and women, it’s always about the price of everything but the value of nothing. in other words, marami talagang mahina lang ang utak at napakababaw ang sariling kasaysayan.
I think that life is the other way around for ANY human being….lots of multiple stories–good, bad, not so bad, mundane, exciting, sometimes even boring, sometimes talagang mabighat na kasaysayan due to one’s own life’s harsh experiences. One can be a millionaire but consider themself poor if they live next to a billionaire. And unless one truly believes they live in lala land bubble gum wrap and everything is lollypops, cotton candy and an endless ferris wheel of complete fantasy (where there is no such existence) they are in a lie according to their culture’s view of how life needs to be lived! Life is what one makes it…irregardless of if you are male or female…either you are completely clueless or you are clued in…either way, how you look at yourself is how others will treat you. If you are confident, then everyone will see not to mess with you but if you act like you are an idiot, then others will treat you as such. I choose to be who I am according to the Spiritual Being that created me as well as how I see myself according to how I matured as a woman…I value myself. God, I wish I had such self confidence when I was in my teens and early twenties…I would be a better me today without the suffocating Maria Clara demure bull that was fed down my throat growing up and males considered to be the stronger sex! I would have kicked all kinds of dumb exes to the curb!!
Connie – I love this article! I would love to add more but cannot say anything better than what you have already. I agree with you 100%. Happy New Year!
Recently my wife was slapped in the face several times by her brother. All because he could not win an argument with her! I was not in the room at the time but it was witnessed by two of her sisters and another brother.
I have lost respect for this man because he is big for a pinoy and my wife is very small. I used to look up to him because his is Barangay Captain in zone 7 in Caloocan city. I do not have any respect for him now.
Hi Ms. Connie,
It’s probably best to not look at this type of driver in the eye. The best thing to do is to slow down and let him pass.
Aggressive behavior on your part might have only emboldened him to use his gun on you.
The way I see it, dalawang lugar lang ang patutunguhan ng taran$@*#ng driver na yon- kung di sa kulungan, eh sa sementeryo.
Kasi, sooner or later makaka-engkwentro rin siya ng mas mainit ang ulo kaysa sa kanya, at mas tanran%$#do…at may baril din.
Kaya, i-pray mo na lang siya.
Ayoko syang i-pray. Sana kunin na sya ni Lord.
In a manner of speaking, of course, me being agnostic. 
Good thing you were able to jot down his license plate number ZBR 871.
Sana ma-memorize ang number na ‘to ng iba pang motorista at nang maiwasan.
I’m willing to bet na based on his agressive behavior, may kalalagyan din sa bandang huli ang driver na yon.
Sana nga kunin na siya ni Lord para walang inosenteng motorista na madidisgrasya sa mga kamay niya.
Re “Good thing you were able to jot down his license plate number ZBR 871.”
Force of habit. Always gathering evidence.
Hey, thanks for differentiating between “men” and “males.” As a guy, I appreciate the extra effort to avoid hitting undeserving dudes
On a related note, I do a bit of reading into martial arts, and it’s come to my attention that the “real” fighters, masters, and champions are also some of the kindest, most easygoing people I have seen.
Kyokushin Karate founder Mas Oyama could easily kill a bull with his bare hands, and yet wept when he accidentally killed another man in self defense. He declared himself “weak” despite his physical strength, explaining that his power was worthless if he could not learn self-control.
Max Baer the boxer accidentally killed an opponent in the ring, and after that incident he vowed to support the contender’s family with his fight money.
Not to sound sexist, these sort of people are whom I would call “real” men. They have a strong sense of honor, and despite their strength, act out of kindness and compassion even for their opponents.
Not to mention they could easily beat people to death with their bare hands XD
Compared to these sort of people, that driver you mentioned is pure scum.
Martial Arts are disciplines. Not the kind of street gang brawl that toughies engage in.
How did that quote from Gotham Knight go again?
Oh yes – they’re simply “Boys trying to play at being men.”
It is only the Filipino male that is inferior than the woman.
In other advanced and egalitarian societies, men apart from being educated, can reach their potential, providing positive contribution to their societies, and yet, as in the US, Scandinavian countires, UK, netherlands — their family structures are egalitarian i.e. sharing household chores, allowing women to reach their career aspirations without men feeling any form of insecurity.
It is the Filipino male who is a lazy egotistical indifferent idiot who feels emasculated with a smart, intelligent yet beautiful woman, and would retaliate against the wife if she is more successful than him. They can go the other extreme — be lifetime “bums”, leading dysfunctional family set-ups and role reversals, where people are now accustomed to women being the sole provider. They have poor parenting skills, many not even aware of their divine duty not only to be chief providers, but to teach and counsel their children. There are more irresponsible Filipino men and it is fostered by a culture that is matriarchal. It has nurtured a lot of mama’s boys. Our men even in their middle to old age, never really matured. I know this is a wrong harsh generalization, but sadly, it is the kind of reality and surrounding I am living in . Sir no, I will never see the men I grew up or been exposed to lend a regular hand in household duties. They are a source of shame and they don’t even know it!
Fostered by a matriarchal culture? Please, how about the colonialism and the hyper arrogant Japanese men who invaded the country? Perhaps those are stronger factors than the matriarchal culture which sounds like a ‘mama’s boy’ perception.
I was taught how to be a ‘ Real Man ” by real men , my father , grandfather and uncles . They taught me respect…for ones self and for others . Taught me to treat women with dignity , to take responsibility for ones own actions , and when required to shoulder the responsibility for others , in particular your family , wife and children . To be a good and honest citizen . One uncle taught me to fight , being a Royal Marine Commando at the time he was well qualified , and he gave me this advice ….” never use what I have taught you just walk away , only ever use it to defend women and children ” .
Not an ounce of machismo is sight , yet these men and others like them that I have had the good fortune to meet and learn from throughout my life would laugh at the driver you talk about Ms C and shake their heads and like me wonder at what the hell he was trying to prove .
And finally , I believe that each sex has its strengths and weaknesses , that when we work together it make us truly amazing . I have never believed that one was superior to another until i assisted in the birth of my daughters , when I witnessed this , I knew I was in the presence of something more powerful than anything a mere male could ever do . How did I feel about this revelation ? It made me proud to be a human being .
He was trying to prove he had something he didn’t have.
You are right Ms Connie , oh and by the way , why is the picture on my posts like that ? Looks so unfriendly , lol .
oops ….please replace “is ” with ” in” on the line beginning with ..” Not an ounce of machismo…” Thank you .