A couple of days ago, my younger daughter, Alex, a high school senior, came home with the news that the mandatory seniors’ team building growth sessions, a three-day live-in affair, would push through from October 21 t0 23. My first reaction was why such late notice? When her older sister attended a similar thing last year, parents were notified several weeks earlier. Alex said they were told it was because of some confusion about the availability of the venue. Considering how much confusion and miscommunication had been going around since the days of Ondoy and Pepeng, I decided to let the issue go.
The school’s official letter had all the details including the date for the payment of the fee – on or before October 30. The detachable reply slip at the bottom says we (parents) have read the information etcetera and enclosed is the fee of P2300 followed by lines on which the parent is supposed to sign. Attendance is mandatory. Non-attendance means the student won’t graduate. Ergo, the parent’s signature is merely pro forma because parents don’t really have a choice except to allow their children to go and to pay the fee.
Now, considering that the body of the letter says payment is due on or before October 30 and the reply slip says “enclosed is the payment of P2300”, when should the reply slip be submitted? Logically, on the day that payment is made – on or before October 30. But here’s the funny part. A few minutes before 9.00 a.m. on October 21, when the seniors were scheduled to leave for the venue, the school was requiring the submission of the signed reply slips. Alex called me up, said she wouldn’t be allowed to attend unless I brought the signed slip to school ahora mismo because they were about to leave the school.
I told Alex I wanted to talk to her teacher-in-charge or whichever school authority with direct say on the team building affair was available. A few minutes later, Alex called back and put her teacher-in-charge on the phone. And I explained why Alex did not have the signed reply slip with her – because it said payment must be enclosed and payment was not due until October 30. I simply made arrangements to bring the reply slip to the school within the day. Since he had no objections, I didn’t bother telling him that I wasn’t about to screw up my morning’s schedule because of a very poorly written letter that was none of my doing.
That really was all that it was. A very poorly written letter. Still, as a parent who pays so much for supposed quality education, it bothered me. Was it intended to be something a la last song syndrome – last heard, last remembered, the last thing being the part about enclosing payment? Was it a Freudian or Alzheimer slip? A sign of deteriorating quality of education? Or was it an unintentional and honest mistake? I want to think positively so I’ll choose to think that it was an oversight and an isolated incident — part of the aftermath of the confusion brought about by the Ondoy calamity. Otherwise, the implications are many and some are downright scary.
We’ve been hearing too much about how the continued exodus of competent professionals has resulted in massive brain-drain that gets worse every day. As a parent, I cannot help but fear about what future professional life lies in store for my children if they cannot receive competent instruction from the very institutions meant to educate them. And school communications are a good way to judge the quality of the education that a school offers.
With the price of education these days, you have got to be wearing really thick tapaojos not to monitor closely if the amount of tuition you’re paying is commensurate with the quality of education that your children are getting. Not many may be aware of it but when we enroll our children in school, a contract is entered into. Just as the school can demand payment of tuition and obedience to its rules, so can we demand that it makes good on its promises and representations. Demandable obligations – go look it up.
So, yes, I monitor. So do other parents. We compare notes irrespective of whether our kids attend the same school or not. And I try to identify tell-tale signs, trends and patterns. So, I take note when I hear stories like how a teacher called a not-too-skinny student a “balyena” (whale) in front of the entire class. I pay close attention when I hear about how a teacher agreed with a supposedly intelligent student running for valedictorian when the latter claimed that ad hominem and “poisoning the well” are the same thing (they’re not, actually, because “poisoning the well” is merely one example of pre-emptive argumentum ad hominem). And I pay even closer attention when I hear about instances when teachers act like tyrants. Ah, the stories I know… sometimes, I think that Severus Snape is alive and has been cloned so many times.
Of course, I don’t expect school administrators to be perfect nor every teacher to know all. I do expect, however, that school administration and faculty observe mutual respect in their relations with both with parents and students. Sadly, our feudal society still tolerates a system that is perfectly illustrated by Miss Trunchbull in Roald Dahl’s Matilda where the principal insists that she is always right and the student Matilda is always wrong because she is big while the girl is small and because, in school, she is GOD. Ah, well, we all ought to be reminded that throughout history, as civilizations rose and fell, so have gods in all forms, shapes and sizes, and catalysts hasten the obsolescence of institutions.
My eldest girl goes to a pre-school inside the village. I have noticed that the teachers are prudes which I really hate. And they have all these rules which are not even supported by logic. Yun bang basta lang sila ang masunod, period. I avoid calling their attention each time I notice these things, for fear that they would single out my girl.
Single them out in court if they take it on your girl. Lintek na mga yan.
I once filed an administrative case against a teacher. I was in high school, a minor, so the case was filed through my mother. The teacher was “reprimanded.” Although it’s the least serious disciplinary action, it was still a victory. No teacher in that school dared bullshit me after that.
Wow. That was super!
I never heard anything like that ever.
My wife have written all the erring teachers so far and we have moved our son twice until we found the right school.
The teacher who called her student ‘balyena’ is evil and mean. She should be stripped of her license.
Fortunately, the school where my daughter goes to has very nice and warm Christian teachers. I have no complaints, so far. But then your post about letter-writing reminded me of this time we were given a letter from the school stating that the kids would be having a ‘come-as-a-literary-figure’ costume contest. I was so excited, expecting to see the kids dressed up as famous fairy tale and nursery rhymes characters. Or maybe even popular storybook figures like Laura Ingalls, Nancy Drew, Amelia Bedelia, Madeline… To my dismay, however, on that day many of the kids came as Pixar and Playhouse Disney characters. And what infuriarated me more was that the judges chose these as the winners. What the –? To think the objective of the contest was to ‘inspire reading.’ Inspire TV and movie-watching was more like it. I wish the letter had been clearer with regards to the criteria and objectives of the contest, as well as the definition of ‘literary’.
i agree that the teacher should be stripped of her license. That’s just cruel
Ms.Connie, my sister and I went to a Chinese school. One Chinese teacher kept on insulting pinoys. Mga wala daw manners, bastos, etc. One day, I told my dad I could no longer attend her class bec. I am a pinoy. My dad went to the school the next day, filed a formal complaint asking for the removal of the teacher. He even threatened to have the teacher deported, hehe. The teacher apologized publicly and never insulted pinoys again.
When my kids were younger, I always assumed those detachable return slips were the school’s safety net, and my signature indicated I was satisfied with the arrangements made for my child’s safety; I was giving permission for my student to go; and I agreed to the fee. School policy would never allow a student to board that bus without the permission slip. In Alex’ case, I would have returned the slip on departure date, Oct. 21st, and made payment before the 30th.
Granted, the letter was poorly written, but each time students leave, I let the school know through that return slip, that I hold them responsible.
The language of those waiver form can boil your blood pressure. You entrust your child along with the payment and yet the school is not responsible.
It is like you are signing a quit claim in advance in case of accident.
Grrr!
Connie, what is ‘ad hominem’ and what does “poisoning the well” signify?
Thanks!
Fallacies in philosophy.
Well, being the head of the Students’ Rights Committee in my university for a year, I’ve had my more than ample share of going toe-to-toe with faculty and administrators who treat us college students like we were still in high school or lower.
So sad and infuriating most of the times because most of them had MA’s and PhD’s and other letters following their names but they think, behave and reason like a bunch of kids.
A basta yang mga reply slip na yan na may kasamang waiver which we have no choice but to sign, I make sure to cross out the waiver portion and sign over it to signify that I purposely deleted it to render it void. Subukan nilang iwanan ang anak ko pag field trip dahil don, nang makatikim sila ng lecture… lol. (So far, di pa naman sila umaalma.)
Di ko nabasa si Dahl nung bata ako… Nakuuu daming kong naging teacher na ganyan!
Lemon-
We can’t always speak up, but we can volunteer at every chance, show up at each conference, attend all meetings. No substitute for being there..first hand mong makita at marinig what’s going on. Umpisahan mo nang magmonitor like Connie.
Kayong mga younger parents, watch out for teacher labeling that stigmatize a child. Yun bang attention-deficit-hyperactive-disorder na kailangan mag-medicate ang bata. Daming kaso that it’s done for the convenience of the teacher, para mas manageable ang clase niya. The label goes with the child from grade to grade. Unforgiveable!
The slip “enclosed is the payment of P2300″ was really by design to cough up the money in advance to avoid the last payment date of Oct.30. It is tacky though coz the school administrator could have said it nicely in the letter without appearing arm twisting the parents for the money.
The other reason of the rough language is that the school is facing collection problems from the parents and it has no good handle of it.
It’s worse in so-called Philippine international schools hereabouts. These are the schools for OFWs whose families/dependents are with them here. I got to find this out at the school where I used to play sports – the announcements on walls/bulletin boards signed by the school owner and manager, were full of grammatical and spelling errors. I also got to read some letters from the school where some children in the flat where I stay, go, and found them also to be poorly-written. To think they came from school administrators!
I think I also share your sentiments, Connie with regards to closely monitoring what goes on in my son’s school. And believe me, if I had written down in a log book all the incidents that have “challenged” my patience with school authorities— I may already have written a book. The incidents/ examples that you cited are for me—”been there,seen that, heard that” already. And may I add, we’ve been through worse. Until now, when discussions between my son and I veer towards that topic, we even have some aliases for his former horrible HS character—”he who must not be named!”
Now, thinking positively about the whole thing, we can just look back and say that he “survived” and that it was a learning experience in life. Because of having met those school characters early in life, he knows that in life outside school, he can expect to meet characters that are not always kind. And hopefully, because of this, he has learned to recognize them and deal with them.
Miss Connie, and to all other parents, I highly suggest coordinating your efforts in keeping teachers in check.
When I was in highschool some 8 years ago, we had a math teacher who was, to be polite, not as attentive as we would have needed her to be. As in she would rattle off the lesson without so much as a pause, and then give a quiz–on the very same day! Needless to say, about a third of the class flunked.
The parents of these students, upon the brilliant suggestion of one of them, wrote a petition to have the teacher removed. If I remember correctly, about 25 of 40 of our parents signed (mine included). That was over half of the class!
So the administration forced the teacher to give the students and parents a public apology, and gave us remedial classes, free of charge, to compensate.
My point is, usually parents are either too timid, as though they don;t have power over the institution, or schools just ignore the complaints of individual parents. But when parents become vigilant and cooperate with one another, abusive/incompetent teachers/administrators will have no choice but to shape up.
Having read this, I came to a general opinion on the matter of communication. You see, you are not alone in having that predicament. And it is not just confined in schools. It’s also an issue at the workplace. I’m past 30 and I got to experience the working environment of the last decade. There’s been a very big difference in how things are done basically because rapid changes in technology also happened over the years and are still happening as of this writing (note: Google Wave). I can also say the same thing about being a student 2 and 3 decades ago. I sort of got to compare how things are done in schools these days and there are lots of differences that matter as to why the things you have been observing are happening. Change in itself is normal, even inevitable. However, there are basic tenets of education and professionalism such communication, work ethics, etc. that do not change.
I am reminded of that movie “Small Voices “where the head teacher made some of her students clean her house. If I remember correctly, she also sold snacks to the students to make money or they were forced to buy them for some reason. Now that was really abusive!
Teachers selling snacks to students — even inside the classroom — is not uncommon here especially in public schools.
I remember when i was a elementary student diyan sa pinas, my filipino teacher would require us to buy her chocolate crinkles as punishment for not having the right answers to her class questions.
If you want to make a killing, open an International School! It is outrageous how much they charge (I pay the bills for my office so I know first hand). The tuition is more than you would pay going to any Ivy Leauge school in the U.S.
I had enough of these primadonna teachers. My second born has difficulty with his fine motors and have been diagnosed to have an ADHD. The school I enrolled him before was very mean and rude to those kids with special needs. I remember talking to a panel (5) of teachers to ask them to give my son a chance because the developmentalist said that he will eventually bloom and will mature at a certain time. I just don’t want him to be left out and begin to use his special needs as an excuse to live a normal life.
But what did I get? They told me that my son is very intelligent and very sharp but they can’t just rely on his oral class performances…without his good handwriting it would be imppossible to record his academic performance, etc. etc. etc. I was pissed and I wanted to slap their faces because they were putting the blame on him. Because they’re uncapable of handling special cases they would tell me that they can’t do anything about my son’s case and that the kid is disturbing the peace and harmony of their class. It’s as if my son is a complete idiot and moron that he can’t behave the way they wanted him to be.
And they were even serving a catholic school!
Well, I decided to pull him out and find a better school (non-sectarian) and I also pulled out my other son (an honor student). I will never let them have the honor of saying that they were the reason why my eldest nor my youngest performed so well academically.
memories…i remember when i was in college, i hated the people working at the registrar’s office. they were not accommodating to most of the students, unless you were an officer, popular, child of a politician/actor/whoever important. unfortunately, i was a nobody in college. and sadly, i didn’t have the guts to fight back. they would have made my life miserable that time (i was an irregular student and i had to deal with them often). i remember a classmate of mine would still ask her mom to go to school to deal with them whenever she had inquiries about her grades. they were more accommodating to parents.
when i graduated, i needed to get my transcript. the old lady made some comments that really pissed me off. deep inside i was crying. just imagine, i was excited to submit requirements to my first employer and this old lady ruins my morning! i was crying after i left the school. since i was already out of school, i had the courage to fight back (i did not have to deal with them anymore). i wrote to the editorial board of the school paper about the incident and the registrar’s office mediocre service to the students. when the registrar’s office found out about my complaint, they called up the house asking for a meeting. the old lady even talked to me saying things like: i never did those things blah blah blah…still berating me! kapal ng mukha! the head of the office desperately wanted a meeting. syempre, pangalan nya ang nakasalalay dito. all i said was: all you need to know is in the letter i submitted to the paper. my letter is very clear.
schools should employ people who are service-oriented. honestly, after so many years, just thinking about this incident makes me curse that old lady, hoping na kasama na nya si Lord (or si person down there). hahaha.
That’s basically the reason why I taught my sons to be relentless when they know that they’re right.
In our home, we engage them in debates. If they committed a mistake and will have to be punished, they need to explain their sides. And it better be good or they’ll have to face the corresponding punishment. However, they also need to be respectful. Nonetheless, they need to defend themselves. They can’t use tears as defense cause the more and faster they’ll get their punishment.
This way they’ll learn to stand their ground. They will also think twice before they decide to commit something that they’re not sure of. And most importantly, they know to face the consequences of their actions.
If you will see a mother arguing with her sons over food ingredients, fashion, people, or traffic flow, that would be me and my two clowns.
“If you will see a mother arguing with her sons over food ingredients, fashion, people, or traffic flow, that would be me and my two clowns.”
LOL We argue about all that too — and gadgets and grammar and philosophical fallacies. Most Filipinos will call it disrespect (ah the old-fashioned conservatism); I call it raising my kids well hahaha