Love means you should say you're sorry

The title, of course, is a play on the tagline of one of the biggest, and mushiest movie hits, of the 1970s. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” from Love Story has got to be one of the most quoted, and misquoted, love quotes of all time.

The line makes sense if taken to mean “no regrets”. In the story, the heroine died after their short marriage. Hence, the line signified that Oliver, who got left behind, should neither feel sorry nor should he blame himself because the short time that they were happy together was what counted.

But that wasn’t the way it was used in the film.

Spoken twice in the film; once by Jennifer when Oliver is about to apologise to her for his anger. It is also spoken by Oliver to his father when his father says “I’m sorry” after hearing of Jennifer’s death. [Wikipedia]

So, it appears that “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” would mean a person need never apologize to a loved one because the loved one would understand and forgive even without the apology. And that makes it so blah. I always thought that part of being an adult, and part of respect and courtesy, is knowing how to apologize when one makes a mistake or hurts someone’s feelings. It is, after all, a way of showing concern, an attempt to heal the would even if it cannot be obliterated.

In my family, we know how to say sorry. Not always with words but we let the person know that we realize our mistake and we try to make amends. Speedy has his unique way of apologizing. If we fight one day (oh, yes, we do fight like any normal married couple), he comes home the next day with some peace offering. A cake, a box of chocolates, ice cream, flowers…

Peace offering

The other night, we were arguing over whether to use a stand fan or a ceiling fan and we both lost our cool and went to bed without speaking with each other. I know, it was so silly. Ang babaw! But you never realize the silliness until afterwards when you’ve had a chance to cool down. So, yesterday, he came home with a box of chocolates and fig newtons.

It’s not that I demand that the apology be in the form of a gift, it’s just that he expresses himself better that way and it helps break the ice. Thing is, Sam and Alex have gotten used to this routine. Sam, especially. In the past, when they got home from school and she saw a box of cake in the fridge, she’d automatically conclude that her father and I had a fight the night before. And she’d snicker.

But she has also gotten wise about the whole thing. When she’s craving for something, say cake or donuts or ice cream, she’d tell me, “Mommy, awayin mo nga si Daddy para may cake tayo (Mommy, why don’t you start a fight with Daddy so we can have cake)…”

The little mercenary. Of course, I don’t do as she says. It’s bad enough that Speedy often feels that he’s outnumbered and out-talked and out-argued by the females in the house, especially by his daughters. :razz: