In Facebook, a friend — a male lawyer and fellow U.P. Law grad — linked to an article in Yahoo! that says the top 6 marriage-killing money issues are: 1) Debt; 2) Personality; 3) Power Play; 4) Mine, Yours, Ours; 5) Children; and 6) Extended Family. Nothing earth-shattering but a good reminder, nonetheless, about things that most couples are already aware of.
Some solutions are suggested and all of them take considerable work. There must be a simpler formula.
In my friend’s post, I commented that I have a motto when it comes to money. Simple, no need for discussions: What’s mine is mine; what’s yours is also mine. Pag utang naman (when it comes to debts and credit): EVERYTHING IS YOURS.
Do you have a better formula?
P. S. Speedy’s MacBook is busted. Too bad he can’t join the discussion. 
P. P. S. (January 12, 2010 @7.21 a.m.) Lest you start thinking that the above formula is what we really observe at home, I’m kidding, okay? You can read an older entry about how we really manage finances at home. 
“What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is also mine.”
yup. That about sums up my wife’s stand with regard to money. hahaha
hmm…coincidence that speedy’s mac is busted while this is the topic?
Wise si Tita Nitz, Tito Rolly! hahahaha
Biyay, yaaaahh, purely coincidence hahahahaha
7. The absence of God in their marriage.
Really? Then, there is no way that atheists and agnostics can have a successful marriage? Ho-hum.
Hear! Hear!
We met a couple whose daughter is a classmate and very close to my son. The couple were athiest, whose marriage is longer than mine with both parents active at school. Religion seems is not an issue on marriage having both parties with the same interest.
We follow the same motto at home. For us, it’s the simplest and most effective. When payday comes the money goes directly to the joint account. Then hubby has to hand me his payslip before the day ends. Kaya lang I take care of the debts, too, including those under his name.
financial problems ever since sa pamilya. minsan nakakaumay na
lalo na sa ofw family na katulad ko. left and right and humihingi. pahingi ng pera, negosyo, tricycle o jeep. pinagtatalunan ng mother at father ko .napagkasunduan na hwag magbigay at magsave na sa retirement nila , ayun nagwelga ang lahi. our family against all relatives ang nangyari. ang daming negative na naririnig. ang dami na nga ring hindi nagbayad…. as in big amount of money talaga . nakakalungkot.
sana what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine din kami
Basta kami, kanya-kanya po. Hindi kasi binibigay sa akin eh 
Hi Connie. I’ve been following you from your yummy recipes to your other articles. Thanks for the great recipes!
I am a Muslim and if I may join in the discussion, I’d like to put my two-cents too. As a wife, my monthly maintenance (which is more that what is enough) is provided for by my DH (Darling Husband), and if there are extra needs, he gives more. He handles his own money and I’m not bothered at all by that, so long as he gives me my due. Everything extra goes to my savings.
The standard today is direct deposit which transfer payroll funds to the savings or checking account on paydate removing the advantage of money float in which the company benefited from the employee’s delay of manually cashing the check.
Either way, check or direct deposit, there is no guarantee this is foolproof. Here is the reason why. An employee can request payroll department to split the amount (which applies in both check or direct deposit) for any extra amount due him. This usually happens when a person get salary increase or extra bonus.
The creative husband apparently seems got stuck with his job without any increase over the years but actually has extra spending account.
In reality, even how controlling the spouse maybe in term of finances, which is always the Philippine family management style, the husband can always find ways out.
In my previous job in the Philippines, we made it a policy that any awards or incentives due to employee should be claimed by the spouse with marriage certificate. Shocking? No it is not. We found one day that a wife filed a complaint after a querida was able to get the refrigerator and washing machine.
hahaha Whatta wife!
‘having your own money — clearly designated and delineated — is part of maintaining your identity and independence’ — (from your previous post) — i totally agree with you! i’m a stay at home mom but i have some humble sidelines that allow me to earn some money of my own. this allows me to buy the things i want without having to answer or explain to my husband. believe me, there is NOTHING more nakakainis than having to ask, beg, or plead your husband to buy you this or that. and when your husband questions you, you have to explain and elaborate pa why you need (or want) that particular item. sus!
i have friends who are also housewives but are content to just stay at home and go on facebook, since they believe that it’s the job of their spouses to provide for ALL of their needs, even if it’s a 5-digit bag or expensive necklace. they scoff at working moms or moms with sidelines kasi the time spent by moms working supposedly takes them away from their families. and then they complain that sana their husbands could earn more para they could buy the latest ‘it’ bag. GRRRR!!!
Your friends: They should hope that their marriage never fail because if the husband walks out — especially if there’s another woman — it’ll take expensive court cases for them to get their rightful share of the community property.
Being dependent on a husband places the buy decision away from you. Despite trust, long relationship and 99% accuracy, there is always that 1% chance that can go wrong. Producing your own income is the best insurance against a husband, no matter what.
“What’s mine is mine; what’s yours is also mine. ”
Yan din ang rule namin dito sa bahay pagdating sa pear. Nung umalma siya, nagtanong ako:
1. Sino ang nagbigay ng aras nung kinasal tayo?
2. Sino ang binigyan mo ng aras?
3. May binigay ba ako sa iyong aras?
4. Ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng aras? Ipinaliwanag naman yun bago pa nung oras ng kasal.
Hindi na siya sumagot.
HAHAHAHAHAHA Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
From what I know, most of my friend couples handle finances like what Amatullaah described. The husband gives a monthly budget to the wife, the amount of which is enough for all regular expenses. Whatever is left at the end of the month is for the wife to keep. So kung matipid si misis magkakaroon siya ng savings for her own shopping, unless the husband gives her an “appreciation fee”
. But outside of the usual daily fare, like trips, major repairs, appliances, loan payments, etc. si mister pa rin sasagot.
I am lucky with my husband. When we were both just starting our careers, I was earning more than him. We decided to split all expenses 50-50. Later on, when he rose the ranks and his salary was double mine, he decided to shoulder 100% so my salary was all mine
. Now I am a stay-at-home mom. We have joint accounts in all his savings/current/time deposits. I can use his money in whatever way I want. Isn’t that great? But of course, he trusts me so much. I am very budget-conscious. Call me stingy or what, coz even if we have extra savings, it’s not in my character to splurge. We use savings for family vacations instead of material things. Money has never been an issue between us!
I told my husband how it was when I was growing up: my mom would handle all the money, and just give my dad his “allowance”. Of course, he didn’t agree for us to adopt this set-up. hehe
To avoid aways, we have all our expenses (including allocation for kain sa labas, occasional luho for the kids and pera for the insurance/savings) in excel. After which, we consider all incoming amount. Yung amount to cover expenses is deposited into a common account at duon yung automatic debit ng lahat ng bills. Tapos yung extra amount, we divide into two and we both have this every month (to keep in our respective accounts or to do with whatever we want. Walang pakialaman. It works out well. Although, lagi ko pa din sya dinadaya. hehe